So, what is your relationship with exercise? Do you loathe it like I do? Do you live for it like I wish I did? Honestly, a root canal sounds like a way better time than getting off of my butt and moving a little. However, when you are trying to lose weight, or maintain your current, you have to move. It has to be done... like scrubbing the toilet, washing dishes, folding the laundry and all of the other unpleasant things of life. So, with my obvious hatred of exercise, what did I do????
Nothing. Well, not TOTALLY nothing, but for the first 60 pounds of weight loss, I did no form of exercise. I didn't wanna and no one could make me. I was losing, so why torture myself??? Then a year later I had an epiphany. If I lost 60 pounds NOT exercising, I bet it would come off faster if I did! Duh. Now, what should I try? I was still 200 pounds and not at all in shape, so I didn't want to do something that would put me in the morgue. My decision? I would start walking. Easy enough. I know how to walk! I've been doing it for 30 years! I cleared off the clothesline, AKA the treadmill or "dreadmill", plugged it in and walked. 2 miles an hour. Look out roadrunner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After a few days I got to thinking..."Hmmm, I'm not really sweating. Shouldn't I be sweating or at least out of breath?" I did the unthinkable. I cranked the treadmill to 3.5 MPH and I ran. OK, it was certainly a fast walk, but to 200 pound me, it was a run. A hard, sweaty run. I made it a whole 5 minutes and I didnt die! The next day I did 10 minutes! "Ok", I thought, "I might be in better shape than I thought!". That was the start. I officially had the runs! I started running everyday! After about 2 weeks, I was averaging 4 mph and 2 miles. After that, the weight came off faster. I felt better. I slept better! Gee, everyone was right. Exercise really does make a difference.
So, am I still running? Well, I stopped for awhile. After falling down my mom's steps and hurting myself, I took some time off. BIG mistake. Once you stop something that you aren't a fan of to begin with, it gets really hard to start again. As of today, I have been back on the treadmill for a week. I am back up to 4.8mph and doing 2.25 miles a day. Am I thrilled? Is my life complete now that I have the runs again? Well, I still hate it, but there is a HUGE sense of pride and satisfaction when I complete my workout. Just today I thought that it is starting to get a little bit enjoyable again. I will NEVER crave it (never say never, right?), but I now know I have to do it for mind, body and soul.
So, with all that said, what are you doing to move your body? I encourage everyone to take that first step. Even if it a slow step, it only takes one. You never know. You just might get the runs too.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
NO WEIGH!!!!
So, today was my Weight Watchers meeting and the first one in 2 years where I didn't have to weigh in! It's kind of fun not having to wear my "weigh-in clothes", but it also kind of scares me. It's the whole accountability thing. If I don't HAVE to weigh-in weekly, I could in essence eat like crap all week. Who's gonna know? No one is weighing me in! I can burn it all off before the next time, right? NOPE! And now comes the "this is not a diet, it's a way of life" aspect of my loss. It also opens a new chapter in my journey where I now have to be totally accountable to myself for 3 weeks of the month. How will I do it!?!?!
The first step is continuing to go to meetings. Do I have to? Nope. Will I? You betcha! It's more than just weighing each week, it's the motivation to keep going. It's the other people there who have become friends and an extended family. It's my leader and receptionists who have been on this journey with me for the last 2 years. It's the fact that if I go there and someone notices me gaining, you can guarantee they are going to speak up! They don't want to see me fail. We look out for each other, cheer each other on, and sympathize when we have a "bad" week. One of the greatest things about my meetings are the fellow members who have come to ME for advice. They have become inspired by me, and after sharing in my success, trust that they can ask me for direction and help when they are struggling. And with that comes step 2: become a Weight Watchers leader!!!!
Heck ya! I've already interviewed and am meeting with another higher up next week! How fun is that?!?! I will start out as a receptionist (weigher-inner as I have called them) and then hopefully move on to leader! What an amazing opportunity it will be to help others who are struggling as I have! I decided that I want to help others, especially those who have 100+ pounds to lose. There is nothing more frustrating for morbidly obese people than hearing success story after success story of people who lost between 15-30 pounds. As a large person, here is what I would "hear"... "My name is Skinny Mini. I have struggled with my weight my whole life! When I went to college, I just ballooned into a size 6! I needed to do something about it! So, with the help of this plan, I lost 5 pounds to get back into my size -0 jeans!" No, I'm not knocking any number that one has to lose. We all have our number great or small and it's great to see people meet their goals, but it's different when you can't relate to them. It makes the task of losing such a high number seem bigger and more unachievable when you can't see or talk to someone who has done it. I want to help those who are like I was. Fearing for their life and thinking "this will never work!" Now, you may ask, "How does that help her keep it off?" Well, I HAVE to maintain my loss to work for them. No if's, and's, or but's (butt's!) about it. I gain it back, I lose my job. Fair enough, and great incentive for me to keep on track!
Step 3??? You're looking at it. I have put it out there. I have posted to all of the world my former weight. If I gain it back, then the whole world would know how much I weigh!!! Dude, that is just not cool. Not cool at all. So, by creating this blog and sharing with you my journey (and my numbers, lol), it keeps me more focused on the task at hand. Yes, I've lost the weight, but no I'm not done. I will never be done. I will have to track my points and count every morsel for the rest of my life (or until I'm 90 years old and decide that I've lived this long I need to enjoy it, so pass the cheesecake!). I'm ok with this. It beats the alternative.
The first step is continuing to go to meetings. Do I have to? Nope. Will I? You betcha! It's more than just weighing each week, it's the motivation to keep going. It's the other people there who have become friends and an extended family. It's my leader and receptionists who have been on this journey with me for the last 2 years. It's the fact that if I go there and someone notices me gaining, you can guarantee they are going to speak up! They don't want to see me fail. We look out for each other, cheer each other on, and sympathize when we have a "bad" week. One of the greatest things about my meetings are the fellow members who have come to ME for advice. They have become inspired by me, and after sharing in my success, trust that they can ask me for direction and help when they are struggling. And with that comes step 2: become a Weight Watchers leader!!!!
Heck ya! I've already interviewed and am meeting with another higher up next week! How fun is that?!?! I will start out as a receptionist (weigher-inner as I have called them) and then hopefully move on to leader! What an amazing opportunity it will be to help others who are struggling as I have! I decided that I want to help others, especially those who have 100+ pounds to lose. There is nothing more frustrating for morbidly obese people than hearing success story after success story of people who lost between 15-30 pounds. As a large person, here is what I would "hear"... "My name is Skinny Mini. I have struggled with my weight my whole life! When I went to college, I just ballooned into a size 6! I needed to do something about it! So, with the help of this plan, I lost 5 pounds to get back into my size -0 jeans!" No, I'm not knocking any number that one has to lose. We all have our number great or small and it's great to see people meet their goals, but it's different when you can't relate to them. It makes the task of losing such a high number seem bigger and more unachievable when you can't see or talk to someone who has done it. I want to help those who are like I was. Fearing for their life and thinking "this will never work!" Now, you may ask, "How does that help her keep it off?" Well, I HAVE to maintain my loss to work for them. No if's, and's, or but's (butt's!) about it. I gain it back, I lose my job. Fair enough, and great incentive for me to keep on track!
Step 3??? You're looking at it. I have put it out there. I have posted to all of the world my former weight. If I gain it back, then the whole world would know how much I weigh!!! Dude, that is just not cool. Not cool at all. So, by creating this blog and sharing with you my journey (and my numbers, lol), it keeps me more focused on the task at hand. Yes, I've lost the weight, but no I'm not done. I will never be done. I will have to track my points and count every morsel for the rest of my life (or until I'm 90 years old and decide that I've lived this long I need to enjoy it, so pass the cheesecake!). I'm ok with this. It beats the alternative.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
What's my motivation?!?!?
One of the first questions I am asked is, "What motivated you to lose weight?". I guess that is where my journey begins. Motivation. We are all motivated in different ways. For some it's money, for others it's recognition. Me? I was initially motivated by a TV show. Let me explain...
In January 2009, I was sitting on the couch (as usual) watching TV and, I'm pretty sure, eating something. Being that it was January, the TV schedule was bombarded with "weight related" shows. On this particular evening, TLC was doing a marathon of "I'm too big to leave my house, so they had to cut a hole in the wall" kind of shows. I was watching and thanking God that I wasn't that big....yet. One particular show caught my eye and I watched. "Half Ton Mom" was a show about Renee Williams. At 29 years old (I was 29, hmmmm), Renee was well over 800 pounds and underwent gastric bypass surgery, only to pass away 12 days later. She was the mom of two little girls (I have two little girls, hmmmm). I watched her daughters bury her, hearts broken, and I thought, "Dear God, that could be me." You can read Renee's story here Half Ton Mom.
I was gaining weight at an alarming rate, putting on 30 pounds in just 6 months. How much more would I put on before I found myself unable to move? Would I be one of the people using the motorized carts at Wal-mart because I was too fat to walk?(my biggest pet peeve by the way) It was already to the point that I wasn't sleeping the entire night. I couldn't roll over in bed and had an instance where I woke up, but couldn't breathe. My feet ached. I couldn't fit in booths at restaurants. I barely fit behind the wheel of my car! I couldn't play with my kids. My life was full of things I couldn't do! One thing that I COULD do was change that. I looked at my husband and said, "I think I'm going to go to Weight Watchers this week. I need to do something about this!" He looked at me and said in his deep voice, "Ok.". That was the start for me.
The following Thursday I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting. I walked down the stairs into a very full room (it is January and everyone else had the same idea I had!). Looking around I could see very few people as big as myself. In fact, there were more skinny people than fat people! Oh well, I went in, signed up and headed to the scale for my first "weigh-in". I got on the scale and looked at the number that the receptionist wrote down. 262. I took my little member book and went to find a seat. After looking at that number I thought, "well, at least it isn't 300". Seriously??? 262!!!! My BMI was 46.4. I was almost HALF fat!!!! Yikes. Anyway, I sat through the meeting only to find out that the skinny people were all "lifetime members" and had reached their goal. How many lost over 100 pounds??? None. Zilch. Zippo. Our leader informed us that though the room was full, there would be about half as many there in a few months, because they will have quit. I thought, "Not me. I'll show you. You can't tell me that I'll quit!". Guess what? I didn't. And you know how many lifetime members sit in my Weight Watchers meeting have lost over 100 pounds? One. Me. It is purely the result of stubbornness (don't tell me I won't be here in a few months, lol) and a drive to save my life. The thought of my children having to bury me because of obesity made my heart ache. How could I do that to my girls? What kind of example was I setting for those two beautiful gifts from God? Well, I can now say that I am an example of courage, strength, and health.
In January 2009, I was sitting on the couch (as usual) watching TV and, I'm pretty sure, eating something. Being that it was January, the TV schedule was bombarded with "weight related" shows. On this particular evening, TLC was doing a marathon of "I'm too big to leave my house, so they had to cut a hole in the wall" kind of shows. I was watching and thanking God that I wasn't that big....yet. One particular show caught my eye and I watched. "Half Ton Mom" was a show about Renee Williams. At 29 years old (I was 29, hmmmm), Renee was well over 800 pounds and underwent gastric bypass surgery, only to pass away 12 days later. She was the mom of two little girls (I have two little girls, hmmmm). I watched her daughters bury her, hearts broken, and I thought, "Dear God, that could be me." You can read Renee's story here Half Ton Mom.
I was gaining weight at an alarming rate, putting on 30 pounds in just 6 months. How much more would I put on before I found myself unable to move? Would I be one of the people using the motorized carts at Wal-mart because I was too fat to walk?(my biggest pet peeve by the way) It was already to the point that I wasn't sleeping the entire night. I couldn't roll over in bed and had an instance where I woke up, but couldn't breathe. My feet ached. I couldn't fit in booths at restaurants. I barely fit behind the wheel of my car! I couldn't play with my kids. My life was full of things I couldn't do! One thing that I COULD do was change that. I looked at my husband and said, "I think I'm going to go to Weight Watchers this week. I need to do something about this!" He looked at me and said in his deep voice, "Ok.". That was the start for me.
The following Thursday I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting. I walked down the stairs into a very full room (it is January and everyone else had the same idea I had!). Looking around I could see very few people as big as myself. In fact, there were more skinny people than fat people! Oh well, I went in, signed up and headed to the scale for my first "weigh-in". I got on the scale and looked at the number that the receptionist wrote down. 262. I took my little member book and went to find a seat. After looking at that number I thought, "well, at least it isn't 300". Seriously??? 262!!!! My BMI was 46.4. I was almost HALF fat!!!! Yikes. Anyway, I sat through the meeting only to find out that the skinny people were all "lifetime members" and had reached their goal. How many lost over 100 pounds??? None. Zilch. Zippo. Our leader informed us that though the room was full, there would be about half as many there in a few months, because they will have quit. I thought, "Not me. I'll show you. You can't tell me that I'll quit!". Guess what? I didn't. And you know how many lifetime members sit in my Weight Watchers meeting have lost over 100 pounds? One. Me. It is purely the result of stubbornness (don't tell me I won't be here in a few months, lol) and a drive to save my life. The thought of my children having to bury me because of obesity made my heart ache. How could I do that to my girls? What kind of example was I setting for those two beautiful gifts from God? Well, I can now say that I am an example of courage, strength, and health.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I've Officially Lost it!!!
We all have those moments when we feel like we've "lost it". Life takes over and our minds go on vacation, or we see ourselves becoming something (or someone) we are not. That was me just two years ago. I lost it. I lost who I was. I lost my identity. I became someone else, and I was crying inside. I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and saw someone that wasn't "me" looking back.
The person looking back wasn't worthy of living. She felt that her life was taken over by something bigger than herself. Unfortunately, at 5'3" and 262 pounds, there really wasn't much out there that could possibly be bigger, could there?! Well, yes there is, but I knew that if I didn't get control of my spiraling out of control weight, my poor outlook on life and lack of self-worth would become much bigger than I could deal with. I was dieing. I was killing myself with food. So, who am I?
My name is Leanne. I am a mommy, a wife, a daughter, a Christian, a singer, and a woman who has overcome morbid obesity. YES! I BEAT IT! I lost 125 pounds! I lost a whole person! An entire "normal sized" person. In losing that person, I gained more than anyone can imagine. I gained back self-respect, hope, and life.
This blog will be a place for me to share about my journey from and my life AFTER morbid obesity. My prayer is that I can be an inspiration to just one person. That I can inspire someone, anyone, to take control and get their life back. To find who they are under the extra baggage they are also carrying around. God Bless.
The person looking back wasn't worthy of living. She felt that her life was taken over by something bigger than herself. Unfortunately, at 5'3" and 262 pounds, there really wasn't much out there that could possibly be bigger, could there?! Well, yes there is, but I knew that if I didn't get control of my spiraling out of control weight, my poor outlook on life and lack of self-worth would become much bigger than I could deal with. I was dieing. I was killing myself with food. So, who am I?
My name is Leanne. I am a mommy, a wife, a daughter, a Christian, a singer, and a woman who has overcome morbid obesity. YES! I BEAT IT! I lost 125 pounds! I lost a whole person! An entire "normal sized" person. In losing that person, I gained more than anyone can imagine. I gained back self-respect, hope, and life.
This blog will be a place for me to share about my journey from and my life AFTER morbid obesity. My prayer is that I can be an inspiration to just one person. That I can inspire someone, anyone, to take control and get their life back. To find who they are under the extra baggage they are also carrying around. God Bless.
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